Hello folks! Have I got a vacation idea for you! It’s called: Summer Camp with a private school! You will spend 10 days and 9 fabulous nights in a run-down camp site in the middle of nowhere! Your accommodations include sleeping on a thin mattress pad atop of not one, not two, but twelve glorious wooden bed slats! The best sleep you’ve ever imagined wouldn’t be complete without the decomposing, rock-like pillow. Your meals are fully included! You couldn’t be a full-fledged camper without malnutrition. Meals include: bread, margarine, and honey at every meal! You can expect a few side orders of vegetable borsch, room-temperature fried fish, and cucumber-tomato salad! No matter how much you eat, it will be difficult to break 2000 calories a day! Sounds enticing I know, but wait! There’s more!
This camp of a life-time wouldn’t be complete without a monster helping of disorganization! You will be teaching English classes to 106 5th-7th grade students for 2 hours a day! Students will not want to attend classes and will complain, but you can be guaranteed the camp supervisor will be dissatisfied with whatever lesson you planned!
Around day 6 you can be guaranteed to catch a bout of a burning throat, fever, common cold, virus, cough, or all of the above! Then on day 7, I hope you’ll be able to get some rest because you’ll be going on an excursion in 90 degree weather for several hours! All of our excursion options include a semi-grueling hike if you can fight to get a spot on one of our non-air-conditioned vans. Camp staff like to make it as difficult as possible to make anything work out, as you’ll probably appreciate the struggle you had to go through to get to the end. When you need to leave on day 10, you’ll be lucky if you can get anyone to drive you the 45-50 minute walk to the road to get back home! Sure you’ll be exhausted, but who could turn down this experience!?
A few final notes about this hypothetical experience: the kids are really smart, talented, slightly misbehaved but they’ll love you, the 7th graders will be your favorites, a few of the teachers are nice, the people you go with are great company, but the power may go off every day and the management staff of this school are the most disrespectful, inconsiderate, greedy, irresponsible people you have worked with in your PC experience and continue to amaze you in all negative regards.