Saturday, July 24, 2010

A Bug's Life

So the cough from all the environmental things feels like it may be getting itself under control. Since I've been told I'm pretty good in the field of talking about nothing, I have a story for you.

The past couple of nights, there have been bugs crawling around on the floor of my bathroom (as if the overpopulation of spiders wasn't enough). I guess you have to figure that something needs to support these spiders if they are going to stay alive. I made the discovery about the unknown bugs when I turned on the light, and there were like 15-20 of them wriggling around on the floor. I freak out, they freak out, and they scatter while I'm attempting to kill them. I never said I was merciful to unknown house guests. This house is one in Georgia that doesn't exude hospitality. So, I think I'm done killing them. They behave like cockroaches, but kill as easily as silverfish. Maybe it's like a hybrid mutation?

So, I notice 2 huge spiders on either end of the bathroom, perched near the floor. I figure I'd let them stay there, because two spiders are better than 20 little unknown bugs. I start brushing my teeth but am careful not to disturb the spiders, as I already had enough spider bites on my legs after my last crusade to take back my apartment (While I had been away in the last month, spiders claimed my apartment. Needless to say, I sustained some injuries.). So I'm watching these two predators, and suddenly along trundles in my periphery of vision a huge daddy/momma big-ass (perdone mon Fran├žais) jumbo-nasty unknown bug (at least 50 times bigger than the little ones). I quickly squash this BAMF and leave its corpse there to rot (or until I could collect enough courage to scoop it up with a paper towel).

Yesterday morning, the bug carcass remained alone on my bathroom floor and the 2 spiders had taken up shop for the night. Then, this morning I wake up thinking, it's about time I cleaned up this murder scene, but only the smoosh-lines of the bug remained. Some creature that lives in my bathroom claimed it for a meal. The question is, was it a spider? or was it a scavenger? Maybe it was the little unknown (possibly cannibalistic) bugs. I'll keep you updated on the hour.

**This has been a Georgian reality check brought to you by

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cigarettes and Burning Trash

OOOOK. This is going to be a mini-rant, and then I'll be done. So I have a terrible cough. A cough that has kept me from sleeping well the last 2 nights. I've been having trouble breathing because they have not stopped burning trash or smoking cigarettes! It doesn't matter what's in the trash, they burn it anyway. Almost all Georgian men (and a lot of women) smoke, so that's unavoidable. What's the result? A horrible cough and poor quality of sleep.

I can't have my windows and doors closed because I don't have air conditioning, and we don't get enough living allowance to keep a fan running all summer. So, I leave my doors open, and in comes the smoke. I'm sick of it already. I'm really glad I'm going to America to get a break from the heat and smoke you can't escape from.

Bimonthly :-\ Update

All-time highs in temperatures across the globe result in all-time lows in blog posts here on!

So, after the summer camp from hell, I went to help out for round two of Pre-Departure Orientation (PDO) with American Councils. There was a PDO intermission when we were able to see Hillary Clinton in the flesh! She was running on Georgian village time (even slower than Georgian time), approximately 2.5 hours late. It was a good time though! I got to meet a former PC volunteer and an embassy intern! At the end, I got to bump uglies shake hands with Madame Secretary, who I affectionately refer to as Hillary (we are like bff's). She asked me how I was and before I could answer, a woman of asian decent jumped between us for a picture, scared Hillary and secret service, and Hillary bustled on! I can only hope that next year will bear more satisfying experiences with the Secretary of State. I still need to tell her that we have the same birthday!

Then, post-PDO I finally was able to purchase a refrigerator! It's beautiful and in my kitchen right now, full of food I need to eat before I LEAVE TO AMEREEKA! That's right, I will be on a luxurious summer holiday in the sunshine state, kickin it back with my mom and friends for three weeks. My hope is that I will come back to Georgian in August renewed for the final stretch of the PC Experience.

Since the refrigerator purchase, I have made sweet tea, ice water, hummus, pita, brownies with caramel on top, grilled cheese, okroshka (Russian summer soup), among other various sundries.

Unfortunately, my blog has not been the only part of my life that has suffered. I also have had no energy for my Russian lessons. The truth is, I'm burnt out and need a vacation. Luckily, my hard drive is loaded up with movies to watch in the down time.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Hello folks! Have I got a vacation idea for you! It’s called: Summer Camp with a private school! You will spend 10 days and 9 fabulous nights in a run-down camp site in the middle of nowhere! Your accommodations include sleeping on a thin mattress pad atop of not one, not two, but twelve glorious wooden bed slats! The best sleep you’ve ever imagined wouldn’t be complete without the decomposing, rock-like pillow. Your meals are fully included! You couldn’t be a full-fledged camper without malnutrition. Meals include: bread, margarine, and honey at every meal! You can expect a few side orders of vegetable borsch, room-temperature fried fish, and cucumber-tomato salad! No matter how much you eat, it will be difficult to break 2000 calories a day! Sounds enticing I know, but wait! There’s more!
This camp of a life-time wouldn’t be complete without a monster helping of disorganization! You will be teaching English classes to 106 5th-7th grade students for 2 hours a day! Students will not want to attend classes and will complain, but you can be guaranteed the camp supervisor will be dissatisfied with whatever lesson you planned!
Around day 6 you can be guaranteed to catch a bout of a burning throat, fever, common cold, virus, cough, or all of the above! Then on day 7, I hope you’ll be able to get some rest because you’ll be going on an excursion in 90 degree weather for several hours! All of our excursion options include a semi-grueling hike if you can fight to get a spot on one of our non-air-conditioned vans. Camp staff like to make it as difficult as possible to make anything work out, as you’ll probably appreciate the struggle you had to go through to get to the end. When you need to leave on day 10, you’ll be lucky if you can get anyone to drive you the 45-50 minute walk to the road to get back home! Sure you’ll be exhausted, but who could turn down this experience!?
A few final notes about this hypothetical experience: the kids are really smart, talented, slightly misbehaved but they’ll love you, the 7th graders will be your favorites, a few of the teachers are nice, the people you go with are great company, but the power may go off every day and the management staff of this school are the most disrespectful, inconsiderate, greedy, irresponsible people you have worked with in your PC experience and continue to amaze you in all negative regards.